As I fall into a rhythm as mama of three, I find myself tucking away nuggets of wisdom I sure wish I'd had the first time I gave a go at motherhood.
So, I'm writing to myself (and any of you that wish to receive it), wishing I had ears to hear these things four years ago.
Dear First Time Mama,
You are madly in love with that precious bub you just carried and that is exactly how it should be. You don't want to put the sweet thing down. Don't. Okay, do. For coffee. Yep, coffee. It won't ruin your breastfeeding relationship. He won't be awake all night (well, he may be, but not likely because you had a cup of coffee).
Also, take a shower. Yep. Put that sweet smelling, darling, paraclete down and bathe yourself. Enjoy the warmth and moment alone. Throw a little make up on and run into town. Let the little old ladies see that fresh newborn face. Enjoy hearing them oooooh and aaah. Maybe even let one of them touch his brand new little head without losing your ever loving mind. You will be an old lady one day too. Your kids and grandkids may not live nearby and you may need to caress a little wisp of newborn hair. So just let the overly friendly grandmother do it and smile.
Also, listen to the other moms. All of them. Listen to them. Be around them. Watch them. You don't have to do what they say. Be who they are. Or even like them. However. Most of them will eventually become your tribe. Even the ones least like you. In a couple of years you will be at the lake laughing with them and watching your kids play together. You need community. Find your tribe.
Let your mother-in-law, aunts, cousins, and anyone you are comfortable having in your home bring you food, clean up a little, and even hold the baby. You'll wish you had. Trust me. When number three arrives you'll pass him off to Nana without a second thought so you can make a quick Starbucks run, or just get in a 15 minute shower.
Know this. You are going to fail that precious babe swaddled beside you. Yep. You are going to fail him. You will cry bitter tears over it. And he will come and tell you you are the world's greatest mommy. He will ask what is wrong. He will hug and hold you and you will realize that you were made for this. Even the failing parts of it. So don't try and be perfect. Just be you. That's who your kids need. They are created to be with you. You are theirs and they are yours and you go together so well.
This mom thing.
It is everything wonderful and perfect and even more.
Enjoy it.
Soak it up.
Don't let it pass you by.
Sincerely,
Mom of Three
Just being me
